Room 407, Friday Evening

[bigdamndestiny]

Having promised to make up for the slanderous talk of Francine's cookies, Merlin had tried to set up something romantic for her and him up in his proper room.

It had... mixed results.

He had managed to get candle wax in his only mentioned in one post beard. And had been forced to shave it. He hoped that wouldn't make her upset.

Right now, all he managed in the way of romance was a few candles, a movie he was almost certain was not pornography and some burgers from that Mooby's place. He was getting good at this romance thing if he did say so himself!

[[For the giiiirlfriend]]

Comments

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin looked down at the backpack as though it may bite him. It was a possibility here.

One last glance at Francine's turtle impression and he leaned over to dig in for... a book.

"I--they write books about this?!"

[thatsamilkshake]

Still not coming out. Nuh-uh. "Remember the book about flowers?"

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"...yes?"

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine pointed a finger roughly in the direction of the book he was holding. Roughly, since she couldn't really see per se, between the sweater and her hair. "It's not about flowers."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Oh." Merlin very slowly opened it up to a random page. And then quickly shut it. "Um. Did it have anything good to say?"

THAT DIDN'T INVOLVE IMAGES OF BITS.

[thatsamilkshake]

Okay, that got Francine to extend her head from the turtle shell. And give him the closest thing she possessed to a bitchface. "WHY IS ARTHUR WATCHING US ATTEMPT TO HAVE SEX? If I could remember or actually talk about it do you think I'd have told you it existed?"

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Oh." He slowly opened up the book again, eyes closed this time. Which wasn't helpful at all. "What should we look at first?"

[thatsamilkshake]

"Not Chapter Thirteen!"

It was for his own good. It was for her own good. Though frankly the blurting was just blurting without that much forethought behind it. She'd only read enough of it herself to answer the question of why they would make flavored condoms, before slamming the book shut herself.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin opened his eyes at that, blinking at her. "Chapter One, perhaps?"

[thatsamilkshake]

Chapter One. Right. The chapter she skimmed not because she couldn't look at it but because she was kind of too embarrassed to find out how much she didn't know on the Q and A thing. "That... could be a good place to start?"

Someday, she'd end a sentence with a period again.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Maybe two?" He suggested, having now seen the quiz. What on earth was an S T D?

[thatsamilkshake]

"Maybe?" Francine nodded. "I...don't remember what chapter two is," she admitted.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"What chapter would you start on?" Oh sure, put it on her.

[thatsamilkshake]

"Oh sure, put it on me."

Wait. Rewind. "NOT WHAT I MEANT."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin's eyes were wide anyway. "Um."

[thatsamilkshake]

"NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Francine repeated, and then, well. There was only so much she could take without actually diving under the nearest pillow. She wasn't actually attempting to suffocate herself, but she might have given that impression.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Alright! Alright! You didn't mean it like that!" But, you know, Merlin was still a teenage boy. "I just mean--it's your book! You'll know what would work best, right?"

[thatsamilkshake]

From under the pillow, a muffled voice said, "I UH NOH! I NEHHH DIHHHH ANHHH UH IHHH!"

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin tried very hard to decipher that. "Um. Nor have I."

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine... had kind of already gotten that impression that he had neh dih anh uh ih either, but it was actually kind of reassuring to hear him say it out loud. Not enough to get her completely out from under the pillow, but at least enough that her face poked out. With a tangled mess of hair falling into it. "Why do I get the feeling we were better at this when we were drunk?"

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin offered her a small grin and held out his hand. "I don't want to be drunk when I'm with you."

[thatsamilkshake]

Oh, that was just not playing fair. "Why do you have to go and be adorable when I'm trying to flail?" Francine complained, taking his hand and letting him pull her upright again.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"I could make a lewd remark if that would help," Merlin offered helpfully. "Perhaps we--er--need some time to work up to... that. Just things we're okay with at first."

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine smiled, letting out a huff of somewhat exhausted laughter, then backtracked for a second. "You could make a lewd remark? Really?" She sounded doubtful.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Hey, no need to sound so dubious," Merlin replied, grinning anyway. He scooted closer to wrap his arms around her waist. "I could if I wanted."